The seagull gate has landed!

But where is the surfer? Is there a great white shark lurking around the corner?

There was a fatal shark attack in the Chatham Islands this week. "Young diver Jade Kahukore-Dixon fatally attacked by shark near Chatham Islands, community in shock." It's awful to have a family member die for any reason, including a shark attack. However, why do we call this an 'attack'?

If a human caught a shark, they would have 'gone fishing'. If a human ate a shark they would have 'had dinner', or fish and chips. No-one would refer to there having recently been a human attacking a shark.

If we're thinking about sustained killing campaigns, every year sharks kill around 10 humans and humans kill around 100 million sharks – that's one every 3 seconds. About 24 people a year are killed by flying champagne corks, I mean, 'die in champagne cork attacks'.

We constantly attack organisms on this planet, but we tend to reserve our most impactful words for when other organisms attack us. To be fair, we do use words referring to violence when people attack organisms in a way we regard as unnecessary (particularly when it's young animals). However, we tend to use words like 'killed', which is a good deal less impactful than 'attack'.

"TV contestant killed and ate protected bird."

"A baby sea lion was shot and left to die."

Attack conveys a sense of violence and outrage that 'killed' just doesn't carry. It's a handy word if the human species wants to continue to proclaim its superiority over all the other species on the planet, whose existence we rely on.

The Chathams incident reminds me of Split Enz's eponymous song. They must have had fun writing this one.

SHARK ATTACK

Loves got teeth and she bites so hard
Leaving you for dead like a deadly shark
And she doesn't leave a lot to be saved.

I was swimming in the harbor of your smile
Splashing in the ocean like a child
I didn't know what dangers lurked there
Just beyond the waves
Shark attack

Well she chewed me up and she spat me out
I didn't want to meet a man eater
Shark attack

Please don't mess around with me
I'm a shark fatality, in the sea
I'm the one with the bleeding heart
I thought you were a real lifesaver
And life for once would do me a favor
But baby's just a butcher, and her teeth are razor sharp
Shark attack

Yeah she chewed me up and she spat me out
I didn't want to meet a man eater
Shark attack

And I'm lost at sea and I'm an amputee
And there was slaughter in the water when I fought her
Shark attack

'Shark Hunt' just wouldn't be as catchy.